As I get older, I have realized how deeply important patience and restraint is. I have repeatedly thought to myself ‘If I would have shown restraint and hadn’t said anything they wouldn’t have been hurt so badly,’ and have been able to say to myself ‘After restraining myself over the years I can feel that I have matured as a person.’ How many times have I hurt others and gone astray because of my lack of restraint?
Patience is surely a mark of a mature character. The reason why I don’t show patience is because I am weak. When I don’t feel secure or there is a situation that touches a wound that hasn’t been healed, I explode with anger or hide my feelings as my heart is wrenched and my face hardens.
The problem is that the people who surround me, the people who I always meet and interact with, they don’t always speak or act in ways that are pleasing to me. They don’t deeply consider how I am feeling or what kind of situation I am in, nor do they consider what kinds of words I want to hear or what will give me strength or encouragement. On the contrary, people often speak to me with a background of misunderstanding or ignorance. This is also true of myself. This is a burden that all people need to bear and because it is beyond anyone’s capacity to control, it isn’t possible to live a life fully considering others.
Furthermore, the scenarios I live through each day don’t always go as I want them to. It is more often that the things I plan and wish don’t progress smoothly. Just like the pandemic, there are many things that I have encountered in my life that I could never imagine happening and things that I couldn’t manage with my own might. So whether it’s a person or a situation, if you don’t learn how to wait, living becomes very difficult.
So as I age, what I have naturally learned and cultivated in my life is restraint and being patient. But there is no one who strives to strengthen the important virtue of patience by themselves. That is because it is the product of long hardship and grows little by little. “…because we know that suffering produces perseverance” (Romans 5:3-4) But who likes hardship? God often allows us to be uncomfortable for a short time in order for us to live our lives in peace. That is the reason why, even though we pray faithfully, it seems like God’s answer comes so late. Even though it seems like God doesn’t give an immediate answer, that is God caring for us.
In order for God’s nature to be grafted into us, we must endure various trials and strengthen our patience and become successful. That is why there is the concept of ‘paying one’s dues.’ Today I have decided to spend the day strengthening my patience. Love begins and ends with patience. That is how God really loved and continues to love us.
“Love is patient…it is not easily angered…always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7)
