People need to learn until the day they die. I recently saw a video of a woman who started to study English at the age of 50 and gave lectures in English at a prestigious American university at the age of 60. Just as knowledge and language need to be learned in this way, it seems that one must also continue to learn to mature as a person. These days, I am learning how to live with grace. It is an attitude of accepting and enduring people’s weaknesses and flaws, while still considering them valuable.

The most difficult thing in life is disappointment in people. There is nothing as agonizing as constantly facing words and actions that anger, discourage, and hurt us. The emotions of guilt and self-blame arise when we are not accepted for our own shortcomings. We ask ourselves questions like, “Why am I like this?” “Why can’t I change?” “How long do I have to live like the pathetic person I am?” “Why did I say or do something so foolish again?” Because of ourselves and the people close to us, we struggle every day.

The Gospel demands that we acknowledge that we are flawed beings with many problems, to the extent that Jesus, the Son of God, became human and died on the cross to save us. Therefore, instead of making excuses or blaming others when I see my own shortcomings, I have decided to acknowledge that “I am such a person.” This has made my life easier to live.

I am a person with many deficiencies because I was raised to adulthood by my grandmother, without parents or siblings. In college, I came to belief in Jesus and learned about God’s love, and thanks to the faith community I met at church, I became someone who can play a role in other people’s lives.

My eldest daughter has a truly likable personality, and she has many close friends. When we had a wedding in a large venue, there were so many friends that we had to take two separate group photos. During a phone call with my wife this week, she said, “It’s always so awkward with Dad. It’s probably the same for my siblings.” My wife found it shocking. Due to always having church activities in the evenings and on weekends, even when I’m at home, I couldn’t spend relaxed time talking and playing with my children, and even when I had time, I always had many things on my mind, so I didn’t have the mental space for them. Furthermore, since I have never experienced living with parents or siblings, I am naturally inept at having conversations.

In the past, I would have made excuses like “Living as a pastor means you have to endure such things!” or “Well, I did my best as a father!” I might have turned away and felt dejected. But now, I know how to acknowledge my own shortcomings. And I have the mindset that I need to learn about this aspect through the grace of the Lord. I used to think of my wife, who has the special ability to extend a ten-minute incident into an hour-long conversation, as someone who repeats things and talks unnecessarily for a long time and as if she’s meeting someone for the first time. But these days, I am grateful to think that God sent my wife to be a wonderful teacher who teaches me to have conversations full of empathy, even in the small matters of daily life.

One must know how to acknowledge their own vulnerability and shortcomings in order to truly learn. “Lord, please continue to teach me.”