One of the words that we use the most but is most difficult to define is ‘love’. I constantly ask myself whether I am a loving person. The bible tells us that God is love – therefore, without having a proper relationship with God, it is difficult to understand what love actually is. Then how should we understand those non-Christians who seem very loving despite their lack of faith in Jesus? Should we consider this as part of the image of God that resides in all people – or thanks to God’s common grace that he imparts on all individuals, regardless of whether they believe?
As I meditate over God’s word, and as I learn more about who God is, there are parts of His love that I have come to discover afresh. Firstly, I heard that love is different from “being nice”. While the two are closely linked, meaning loving people are indeed nice – but nice people don’t necessarily love. In a way, being nice is the most basic step of love. Those who are nice but mild-natured can be deeply wounded by others – and a failure to overcome this may lead to depression or even suicide. Those with a stronger character are more expressive and tend to say what they think, without much regard for whether it may hurt others, which at least means that they themselves will not be hurt or depressed. Therefore, you find that a lot of people who suffer from depression are actually quite nice people.
Love must be strong – even when faced with a difficult situation that may lead to deep wounds or anger, love is able to stay calm and rather than focusing on themselves, love is able to push through to take the right steps for the person who is causing difficulty. Jesus demonstrated this by giving his life the cross when we were still sinners, and still God’s enemies (Romans 5:8, 10).
This is why anyone can be “nice” through common grace – but only those that have been reborn in Christ can “love”. Of course, even if you believe in Jesus, if you choose not to dedicate yourself to obeying and building a relationship with him, it won’t be possible to imprint God’s character in ourselves. This is why some Christians fail to be better than those who do not believe but are “nice” thanks to common grace.
Therefore, to be filled with love, we must learn true satisfaction by devoting ourselves to Jesus Christ – and as we experience failure and hurt in our lives through the wilderness to which God leads us, we must learn to overcome our sinful nature that has been built up like a concrete wall within us. Staying within the confines of ‘me’, ‘my family’, ‘my church’ and ‘my nation’ is something that non-Christians can also do. Even if you’re naturally sociable, fit in well with others, and highly empathetic, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a lot of love. On the other hand, it may be that somebody who seems calculating, work-centred, focusing on helping others rather than concerning oneself with criticism or what others think of them is the person who lives according to and with the love of God within themselves. I think the Lord’s love is really very different to the social concept of the same.
“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” (Matthew 5:46)
