1. To be untruthful is not necessarily lying but rather not revealing one’s true feelings. In other words, one would speak as if they completely empathise with the other person’s opinion while actually withholding some disagreement. However, true feelings are bound to be revealed at some point, and when they are, the other person may feel a deep sense of betrayal and silently withdraw trust.
2. Avoid using overly humourous or casual language to break the ice, as doing so for the sake of lifting the mood may backfire.
3. When giving advice, speak gently so the listener does not feel uneasy or guilty. When pointing out a mistake, refrain from mentioning what others have said, and be cautious in word choice as you would when preparing a manuscript for a speech.
4. Even if you have a pressing urge to immediately correct someone due to their narrow-minded thinking, it is better to remain silent and empathise with their perspective if you realise it is something they need to learn through experience over time.
5. If someone shares good news, feel free to speak openly at that moment, but when someone shares a difficult situation, no matter how much you want to help, do not discuss it with others without their consent.
6. It is always wiser not to speak to a third party about someone’s faults. However, if you unavoidably must, speak only of the words you would be able to speak in front of that person.
7. In such situations, speaking only of emotions in your favour, rather than presenting objective facts, not only denies the other person’s opportunity to defend themselves but also risks your words being circulated through various mouths, possibly amplifying and reaching the other person’s ears in a distorted way.
8. Since mistakes are inevitable and repetitive in conversations for everyone, it is best not to be distracted or blame oneself every time. Instead, having the courage to admit blunders and seeking grace from God is the optimal approach.
9. While achieving perfection in speech may be challenging, like James’s encouragement, it is essential to consistently practice correcting erroneous language habits. Even if it may seem trivial, the effort is minimal compared to the pain of hearing verbal offences. Moreover, if you believe in the transformative power as one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, you should obey.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
