Jesus said to his disciples, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged”. (Matthew 7:1) He did not mean that his disciples should simply be silent with regards to all wrongs, or to refrain from judging what is right or wrong. Jesus intended to say that we should not judge or condemn. It is important to note that Jesus said that when a brother sins, rather than staying silent, we should go and show him his fault (Matthew 18:15).

Then what is the difference between condemning and pointing out fault? Is the former about strong words, and the latter soft? Not at all! Of course, we need to have wisdom in the way in which we express our point, but we can condemn with soft words, and point someone towards the right direction with brutal words.

The main difference between the two lies in the main content of the conversation, the purpose of it and the intended outcome. Condemnation happens when a person’s character is attacked, and where a person is labelled as and made to feel unvalued or less worthy. This is possible only where the speaker considers themselves better than the person they are addressing (Luke 18:9-14). However, showing someone their fault involves factual statements, rather than judgment on character. Typically, this will come from a humble speaker who, while pointing out the fault, will remind the person that they are still valuable and worthy, as they understand that they themselves may also make a similar mistake (Galatians 6:1).

When David committed the grave sins of adultery and murder, God clearly points out the facts that show that he had sinned, but God does not belittle David’s character. He sent Nathan the prophet and, through the parable of the lamb, he points out David’s sin in his wisdom. Even after he does so, he touches David’s heart by his love – “David, if all that I had given you had been too little, you should have said so! I would have given you even more” – and leads him to repentance.

Jesus also said that, when a brother has sinned, rather than talking to a third person about it, we should bring it up directly with that person first. If he does not listen, then we are to bring along witnesses privy to the matter as support. The reason should not be out of anger, but “to win him over” (Matthew 18:15). In Jesus’ eyes, a sinner was still worthy despite their sins.

So the former comes from an anger that stems from jealousy and selfishness; the latter comes from love towards the person, and a wish to win them and build them up. A loving person believes that God knows everything and that he can intervene in all human relationships – therefore he chooses to lift the problem up to God in prayer. If they have to speak, it is because they consider it absolutely necessary for the preaching and defending of the truth and the gospel, rather than because of selfish motives.

From that perspective, condemnation is something that a self-centered person will inevitably end up doing. Pointing out fault in a biblical way only becomes possible where we ourselves have a practical, personal and close relationship with God. The former is done by the selfish and cowardly, the latter is done by the courageous. Condemnation should be avoided and unaccepted, in any circumstance.