Recently, a thought came to my mind: “who are pastors I usually want to get along with?” I found out that, they are not people who I have a lot to learn from, but people who praise me as a good pastor every time I meet them. It occurred to me everyone else would feel the same. The reason some children get along with bullies, even if their parents tell them not to, is because at least those bullies welcome and acknowledge them. When advising others about human relationships, people often tell others to look for someone who can help and has a lot to learn from, but even themselves would be looking for someone who recognizes them.
Professor Kim Chang-ok, who I like, told young males to choose a woman who speaks beautifully rather than a woman with a pretty face when choosing a spouse. At the same time, he called the woman whom the man hated “a woman who speaks the right words in a bad way.” In many cases, the nagging of a mother or wife has this character. That saying probably comes from the fact that women talk more than men, but that also applies to men. People don’t change by advice, they do so by love.
A book that impressed me the most about human relationship when I was in university was “Counseling through Encouragement.” The book says, from the part where criminal Adam and Eve cover themselves with leaves, that a person has shame and fear at the base of his mind and tries to cover it up with numerous shells to cover it. It can be academic background, money, humor, and appearance. In a relationship where the skin meets the skin, intimacy cannot be experienced, and only in a relationship that reveals the true heart of fear by taking it off, people can feel intimacy, and it is a mutual encouragement that helps taking off that skin. The person who encourages like that should also be a person who treats people without skin.
An encouragement is possible only when we know that the human being itself is precious and can see more of the future that will change than the present. This is possible only when we know God and believe in our glorious eternal future promised in Christ. This was the reason the Pharisees criticized people for covering up their faults with numerous provisions and reasons, but Jesus the son of God, the most holy man in the world, became friends with tax collectors and the sinners and prostitutes who were considered the most insignificant at the time.
How did Jesus treat tax collectors, sinners, and prostitutes so that they could approach him without any burden? If he only taught good lessons and said right words, he could never have done so. It was possible because he welcomed them as noble human beings and encouraged them to believe in themselves that they can become the people of holy God in the future.
How am I dealing with people? Am I a person who encourages my children, my wife, and church members? I look back on whether my heart truly meant my words, when saying they are precious and precious as they are. How many faults would there be for all of us who left God? I pledge to be a person who encourages and lives like Jesus for the rest of my life.
